No Regrets!

With nothing booked for the morning, Dave and I enjoyed a much-needed sleep-in. After packing up, Dave had words with the front desk after his super-sensitive nose had detected that his laundry hadn’t been cleaned properly. Once the issue was resolved to his satisfaction, we made our way to the train station to catch our shinkansen to Osaka.

Osaka is close, only 25 miles from Kyoto and 15 minutes by bullet train. We did not have pre-booked tickets for this leg of our trip. As I fumbled with the ticket machine, a friendly and helpful woman working crowd control sensed our foreignness and booked everything for me. How nice!

When there isn’t a train whooshing through, the train station platform is nearly silent. Everyone keeps to themselves.

Hopped onto the shinkansen and barely got comfortable before the happy little chime informed us that the train was at our stop in Osaka. Ran into a 7-Eleven at the station to get some breakfast sandwiches with my “cardo” and then grabbed a taxi to the W Osaka, a swanky, fun, modern hotel that welcomed us with sweet dance beats.

It didn’t take long before we were back out exploring. Osaka is definitely larger than Kyoto. More high-rises, wider boulevards, and a more modern feel. It’s got a similar verticality to Tokyo, though the buildings here aren’t as tightly packed. Dave and I are getting DC and Manhattan vibes.

Still on the hunt for Princess Mononoke souvenirs, our first mission was to locate the local Studio Ghibli store. Instructions from ChatGPT and directions from Apple Maps and Google Maps had us going in circles around an enormous shopping arcade. Pins on the map didn’t seem to take us to the right spot, and I started getting frustrated with Japan’s general lack of signage and addresses making places very difficult to find.

In a true act of love, Dave fired up ChatGPT and used it to help us navigate our way through the subway entrance and down to the massive underground shopping complex. The maps pins were in the right place. The problem is that I wasn’t thinking three-dimensionally, as the shop was directly underneath us. This is the first time that Dave has ever used technology to help me, and to be fair, it’s probably the last.

The shop was large and well-stocked, with a decent selection of Princess Mononoke stuff. I picked up a candle holder with characters from the movie and some branded chopsticks. I’m satisfied!

Our walk continued through Dotonbori, the tourist area famous for its bright lights, giant billboards, garish storefronts, and unbelievably huge shopping arcades. We snapped some photos of the famous Glico running man along the canal and then continued our walk as giant sushi chefs, giant babies, and giant lobsters loomed over us.

Then to Kuromon Market, where Dave was determined to make this lunch a truly exotic sampling of street food. The market is a narrow shopping arcade, same idea as Nishiki Market in Kyoto but not nearly as busy. If you want king crab legs or flowers, this is the place to go. We had fried “takoyaki” (octopus balls) for lunch and washed them down with fresh-squeezed mandarin juice. Then we hit another stall for beef “yakisoba” (stir-friend noodles with veggies) and “tonkatsu” (deep-fried pork cutlet). I continue to be amazed at the lack of green vegetables in the supposedly healthy Japanese diet. Almost everything is some sort of meat with noodles or rice, with a broccoli floret or cabbage or green onions only appearing as a garnish.

Took a walk over to Amerikamura, an intersection with shops featuring “American” goods like jeans, sneakers, and baseball caps. No thanks.

Then back to our swanky hotel to kick up our feet up for a few hours. I availed myself to the hot tub and pool. The ambient Dance beats throughout hotel continue to fire me up.

Continuing his hunt for the country’s best sushi, Dave booked another fancy dinner booked at the hotel’s in-house sushi restaurant. We needed to show up and reception at 6:30 PM, at which point they led us through a secret door to the restaurant. Neat gimmick. Dave and I have a standing over/under bet of 3.5 courses served with mushrooms at any given sushi dinner. Cooked octopus actually does taste like chicken. Pretty good!

After dinner, we headed out to see Dotonbori after dark. First stop was Bar Nayuta, recommended by our barback friend in Kyoto. Tricky to find, but we found the intentionally ambiguous sign, headed up a small flight of stairs, ducked through a severely undersized doorway, and rotated across benches around the very tiny room as we waited for a drink. A novelty experience, for sure, but not quite as social as we would have liked. We then poked our head into another nearby bar called Space Station, a tiny place filled with a bunch of nerds playing retro video games. Another bar, Karuda, was described by Google as a place that was variously closed, open, and then temporarily closed. We found a sign indicated that it was on 4F (the fourth floor), got into the elevator, and then pushed the 4 button, which did nothing. Elevator didn’t budge. F that place.

Dotonbori at night is filled with flashing lights, working girls standing on corners, and criss-crossing streets with doorways often stacked eight stories high. But nobody seems to be going into them. There are a zillion people out and walking around, but they don’t actually seem to be going anywhere. Maybe this neighborhood is for seeing and being seen, but not much else.

After our first day, the early verdict from me and Dave is that Osaka is a bust. We headed back to the W hotel, where I ate strawberry, apple, and matcha Kit Kats until I fell asleep.

Over 22,000 steps today. We are doing some work.