No Regrets!

So my friends Scott and Dave were talking about taking a trip to Hawaii this year to celebrate their impending 50th birthdays. Over the course of 2024, as drinks were shared and group chats grew from playful ribbing to X-rated irreverence and vicious character attacks, we bonded and found our group friendship growing and pulsating with love and affection. I waited for the most opportune time to ask… “Can I come to Hawaii?”

“Yes!” they cheered with resounding joy.

Scott is an affable, positive vibes guy. Dave is one of those brilliant dumb guys. He’s street-smart and a hotshot lawyer, but he’s absolutely hopeless with technology. These guys love to be social and sling potty humor, so it’s pretty much guaranteed to be a fun trip. But we’re not so young anymore. I’ve got this weird nerve thing going on in my left buttcheek that came out of nowhere a few days ago, and Dave says his back is killing him. Scott seems fine for now, but it’s only a matter of time before he starts whining about his knee cartilage.

As the one who has been to Hawaii before and possessing something of an OCD streak when it comes to trip-planning, I took it upon myself to start planning everything out in a master Google doc. After some bantering around with various island and excursion options, I think we really landed in a solid place with this itinerary. After arriving in Honolulu on the island of Oahu, we explore the city, do some local touristy stuff, take a sunrise hike up Diamond Head, and enjoy a sunset booze cruise off of Waikiki. We’ll be taking a day trip to Kauai, where we’ll be exploring the island by land and by air, with an exciting private helicopter tour around the island that a heights-phobic Dave has very mixed feelings about. Then a day trip and overnight stay on the Big Island, where we’ll be driving up to the top of Mauna Kea for a sunset and what promises to be a magical stargazing experience. We’ll be eating some of the best food Hawaii has to offer along the way.

Dave really wanted to do it up in terms of accommodation, so he booked the nicest hotel he could find in Honolulu for our first few days and then the nicest resort on Oahu’s north shore to finish things off. We’ll be doing some beach-hopping to soak up the sunshine and vibes and eats that the north shore is known for. Dave, despite not being an ocean guy himself, has a fascination with the big waves and surfing culture, so he’s most excited about this part of the trip. As an extra special treat, I’ve booked a romantic photo shoot on the beach with my old bartender-turned-photographer friend, Stephanie.

It may come as no surprise that the theme of our trip is “Three Gay Dads.” We are proud dads, but from the outside looking in, we’ll be three middle-aged dudes in Hawaii wearing flower shirts, skipping along the beach, and sipping tropical drinks together. But with all of the adventure, this whole trip also has a Point Break vibe to it. In this version, I am Swayze, Scott is Keanu, and Dave is Gary Busey.

And so begins yet another trip in what has been an exciting, travel-packed 2024 for me.

My suitcase last night resembled an open-faced sandwich, but I was able to zip it shut and meet Scott at Reagan National Airport early this morning. I found him wearing a powder blue collared shirt, just like me. Everything just felt right. Scott and I watched as Trump was declared winner of the 2024 presidential election on nearby TVs. After some light political talk, Scott and I agreed that now is a good time to just get out of DC and forget about this stuff for a while.

First leg to Minneapolis was just over 2 hours. I had a whole row to myself, which was nice. We’re now on the second leg to Honolulu, which should be about 8 hours. On both flights, Scott paid up for the fancy seats while I am slumming it back in coach. Scott being bougie has been the running joke of the day so far. My exit row gives me some nice legroom, but the electrical outlet under my seat is just loose enough to hold my laptop power brick for about 10 seconds before dropping it to the floor. I was able to prop the safety information card up under the power brick to support it and keep it plugged in, but I shouldn’t have to do this. Let’s tighten up those outlets to support modern electronic devices, Delta.

Looking out, we’re now flying over the majestic, snow-covered Rockies. The sun is streaming in through the window, which is good because the cabin is freezing and my left shoulder is just about the only part of me that is warm. I did the nerdy research to determine that the left side of the plane offers the more scenic view when arriving in Honolulu, so we’ll see how that pans out. Dave is relaxing comfortably in a first-class pod (even more bougie than Scott!) on a plane to Honolulu flying parallel to ours somewhere in the distance. We should all arrive in Honolulu at about the same time.

Turns out the wifi on this plane is limited, turning off altogether when we head out over the Pacific. You’d think in 2024, they’d have this stuff figured out already.